Deep, Dark Secrets

Photos on my wall of frozen memoirs
pictures are worth a thousand words
&If walls could speak then we
wouldn't really need these
photographic memories
nor these
he-said-said-she-said's
&if walls could speak
then
they would spare me the time of
explaining my life stories
&if walls could speak
then we'd all be in up to our knees
cuz mos def it'd spill the beans
about all my secret thoughts

like
i think that you're a real stinker
oops.
i mean
i drink that i'm a heavy thinker
no wait.
that's not right either

I'm afraid of the dark
cuz I have this fear that
the moomoo is gonna get me
which is one of the real reasons why i stay on the phone& watch tv til 5am

don't tell anyone
but
i pick my nose when i'm alone
&
i pick my wedgies when I'm not
I like to watch cartoons with my 3yr old brother
&i wish Alicia Keys& Michelle Rodriguez were my girlfriends

I sing hella loud when I'm alone at work
as mych as I enjoy the company of me, myself& I
I
get lonely at night
which is why I still sleep with Freddy the Teddy

I pick up change from the sidewalks
I'm afraid my feet stink,
or if my but doesn't look big in these jeans

I feel mortified at the thought of being phoneless
because I might miss an important call
(even though I'm the one that calls everybody)

I'm afraid of not knowing what I want to major in
or not even getting the chance to be a college drop out
the real reason I haven't gone to school
is cuz I'm afraid to fail
or waste my time on useless classes
cuz I'd rather spend my money on food
than be educated about something that won't help me survive
when San Francisco burns to the ground

I'm terrified of dying old under intensive treatment
cuz I'd rather die than be a vegetable attached to a machine

but my real fear
is having deep, dark secrets
so I won't hide it
because if I stuff them in the corners of the closet
it'd be something monstrous

instead,
I'll expose them for the world to see
before I can develop any phobias
&there won't be a chance for these
negatives to duplicate
&I'd rather be laughed at than gasped at
(on the occasion that no one knew about this
until someone cleaned out my closet,
&found this in my skeleton's breast pocket)
so now,
my deep, dark secrets
are no longer dark,
nor are they secrets,
they're just deep.